Popular Beerfest Quotes
Barry Badrinath: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...
Landfill: [Interrupting] What's a ZJ?
Barry Badrinath: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: [Trying to persuade Landfill] I've got $4.
I'm just lookin' for a little slap and pickle!Barry Badrinath
Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if somebody shoved a paddle handle up my ass.
Barry Badrinath: Wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.
Back the fuck up Antonio! My dick!Barry Badrinath
I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it!Barry Badrinath
Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.
I always sleep better with a little sausage in me.Great Gam Gam
[upon waking up after the first night of training, next to a deer he killed with his teet] Oh no, not again!Barry Badrinath
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?
Gunter: [about Johan] He then fled to America with his mother, a common Bavarian... what is word I'm looking for? WHORE!
Todd Wolfhouse: Gam Gam a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
Gunter: HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR MONEY!
Barry Badrinath: [about the past] Come on, buddy. Can we bury the hatchet? I mean, we both know your wife just sat there taking it like a plastic fuck doll.
Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to MARRY that plastic fuck doll!
Todd Wolfhouse: Jim Tobleson said they called in a hostage negotiator
Landfill: Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy! I did my three years up at the county pen. Made some friends, went Muslim. Now I'm out, praise Allah.