Popular Beerfest Quotes
Barry Badrinath: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...
Landfill: [Interrupting] What's a ZJ?
Barry Badrinath: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: [Trying to persuade Landfill] I've got $4.
Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if somebody shoved a paddle handle up my ass.
Barry Badrinath: Wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.
Todd Wolfhouse: Jim Tobleson said they called in a hostage negotiator
Landfill: Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy! I did my three years up at the county pen. Made some friends, went Muslim. Now I'm out, praise Allah.
Back the fuck up Antonio! My dick!Barry Badrinath
Yeah, you Americans, why don't you go back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!Otto
I always sleep better with a little sausage in me.Great Gam Gam
Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath?Landfill
I'll show you how to chug a beer, mother fucker!Steve "Fink" Finklestein
I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it!Barry Badrinath
[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.Todd Wolfhouse
Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.
Barry Badrinath: [about the past] Come on, buddy. Can we bury the hatchet? I mean, we both know your wife just sat there taking it like a plastic fuck doll.
Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to MARRY that plastic fuck doll!