Hey, these aren't my rules! Come to think of it, I don't have any rules!

I don't see anything about heaven or hell. This book reads like stereo instructions.


I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me!


And look at that kitchen. You're finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.


Charles: What do you think honey?
Lydia: Delia hates it. I could live here.

Because if I tell you [my name], you tell your friends... your friends are calling me on the horn all the time, And I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a hell. Okay? A living hell.

Barbara: We're very unhappy.
Juno: What did you expect? You're dead.

Lydia: They don't want to come down.
Otho: Why not?
Lydia: I think the reason is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.
Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.

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Beetlejuice Quotes

Adam: What are your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the Excorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy! Now what do you think!? You think I'm qualified?

I'm the ghost with the most, babe.