Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?
Adam: [Trying too hard to be scary] WEEEE'RE GHOOOOOOOOOOSTS!
Barbara: I don't get it, I mean where all the other dead people in the world?
Adam: Maybe this is heaven.
Barbara: In heaven there wouldn't be dust everywhere.
Delia: Open this door you dead people or we'll bust it down and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with!
Lydia: They didn't commit suicide!
Otho: What happened to the people who lived here?
Delia: Oh, they died. Hey, look, an indoor outhouse.
Lydia: They don't want to come down.
Otho: Why not?
Lydia: I think the reason is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.
Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.
Adam: What are your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the Excorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy! Now what do you think!? You think I'm qualified?
Barbara: We're very unhappy.
Juno: What did you expect? You're dead.
Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.Otho