Hotel Manager: Have you tried looking under the bed?
Meg Swan: Of course I've looked under the bed, of course I've looked under the bed. That's where you look when you lose things.

Stefan Vanderhoof: [discussing the calendar] We're not gonna sell, just give it out to friends.
Scott Donlan: I think we should try to sell it.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Really?
Scott Donlan: Yeah.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Well, if we could give the money to Shih Tzu rescue.
Scott Donlan: They have plenty of money.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Well so do we.
Scott Donlan: What Shih Tzus need rescuing anyway? You don't see Shih Tzus straggling around the streets in an old coat "help, alms for the poor".
Stefan Vanderhoof: Like the little match girl.

Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

Sherri Ann Cabot

Hamilton Swan: Honey, I'm thinking of switching to the mock turtleneck?
Meg Swan: Is that not breathing?
Hamilton Swan: Well, it's breathing now, but it'll be hot down there. I could go with the lambswool, but then again, you'll see a lot of khaki down there and this merlot looks good with the gray.

Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?

Buck Laughlin

Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, maxing out at 400!

Buck Laughlin

Don't water the plants, they're plastic!

Gerry Fleck

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Best in Show Quotes

Buck Laughlin: Doctor, question that's always bothered me and a lot of people: Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia - a no-brainer, right? Cause this is where the Mayflower landed. Not so. It turns out Columbus actually set foot somewhere down in the West Indies. Little known fact.

Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

Sherri Ann Cabot