Bill: Hey Ted? Wanna play 20 questions?
Ted: Okay! I got one!
Bill: Is it a mineral?
Ted: Yeah!
Bill: Are you a tank?
Ted: Whoa! Yeah!

[rapping] You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.

Grim Reaper

Grim Reaper: I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
Bill: Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Ted: No way! You said Mustard! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!
Ted: I don't believe this guy!

Bill: Hey Ted. Don't fear the reaper.
[air guitar]
Grim Reaper: I heard that!

Colonel Oates: Get down and give me infinity.
Bill: There is no way we could possibly do infinity push-ups.
Ted: Well maybe if he lets us do them girly-style...

...and very important, DO NOT do your homework without wearing headphones. Repeat...

Rufus

Bill: Ted, you know, if I die, you can have my Megadeth collection.
Ted: But dude, we are already dead.
Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.

You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds!

You're not strong! You're silky boys! Silk comes from the butts of Chinese Worms!

Colonel Oates

Missy: Spirits, can you hear me?
Ted: Yeah and we can totally see down...
Bill: Ted! That's your mom, dude!

You sunk my battleship!

Grim Reaper

Bill: Ted, it's the Grim Reaper!
Ted: Oh, how's it hangin' Death?

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Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey Quotes

[rapping] You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.

Grim Reaper

Bill: Hey Ted? Wanna play 20 questions?
Ted: Okay! I got one!
Bill: Is it a mineral?
Ted: Yeah!
Bill: Are you a tank?
Ted: Whoa! Yeah!