Henry VII: Put them in the iron maiden.
Ted: Iron Maiden?
Bill, Ted: Excellent!
[air guitar]
Henry VII: Execute them.
Bill, Ted: Bogus!

Be excellent to each other. ...And... party on, dudes!

Abraham Lincoln

Future Ted: Rufus!
Future Bill: Listen to this dude Rufus. He knows what he's talking about.
Future Ted: Right. Oh, and Ted? Give my love to the princesses?
Ted: Who?
Future Ted: You'll see.

Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
Ted: And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
Bill, Ted: And we are... WYLD STALLYNS!

Rufus: Hi. Welcome to the future: San Dimas, California --- 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean, the water is clean, even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up, minigolf scores are way down. And we have more excellent waterslides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great! But it almost wasn't. You see, 700 years ago, the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry, it'll all make sense. I'm a professional.

It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."

Mr. Ryan

Ted: Your stepmom's cute.
Bill: Shut up Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut UP, Ted!
Ted: Remember when I asked your mom to the prom?
Bill: Shut UP, Ted!

Rufus: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?
Rufus: Well, perhaps we could ask them.

Ted: [to himself] 1275...1275... [to Bill] Okay. The lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport. I knew it!
Ted: [to lady] Excuse me! When did the Mongols rule China?
Lady: I don't know. I just work here.

Bill: [Reading from phone book] The only true wisdom consists in knowing, that you know nothing.
Ted: That's us, dude.
Bill: Oh, yeah!

Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!

Ted: Miss Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our friends.
Bill: This is, uh, Dave Beeth Oven.
Beethoven: Sie sind so schön, Madame.
Bill: And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy, Herman the Kid...
Ted: Bob "Genghis" Khan, Dennis Frood, So-crates Johnson, and, uh... Abraham Lincoln.
Miss Preston: It's so nice to meet you all. There's sodas in the fridge.

Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter star as Bill & Ted and they go back in time to learn about history for a school report to hilarious results in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

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Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure Quotes

Henry VII: Put them in the iron maiden.
Ted: Iron Maiden?
Bill, Ted: Excellent!
[air guitar]
Henry VII: Execute them.
Bill, Ted: Bogus!

Mr. Ryan: Who was Joan of Arc?
Bill: Noah's wife?