Governor Tracy: I have heard the voice of the voters and the voters said...
[Mike is screaming for help while hanging from his underwear on a satellite dish]
Governor Tracy: ...Holy Shit?!

Mike: I'm stoned... so are you!
[looks in the backseat]
Mike: Dammit! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! OK, calm down... we just gotta keep under the speed limit... limit...
[starts giggling]
Mike: Limit! Haha, that's another one of those freaky words!

Hold your tongue, wench.


I could go over to your mama's and light a small fire in her panties!


Mike: [to Rock the Vote crowd] Yea! Kill whitey!
Rastafarian: No! No! No!

Boy, I could sure use some cupcakes or peanut butter cups right now.


Horse shit!


Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!

Oh God, I'm a dead man.


We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!


Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!


Steve: Ro-ads. Ro-ods.
Mike: Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day!

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Black Sheep Quotes

Motorcycle Cop: Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Mike: Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops.
Motorcycle Cop: SEVEN! SEVEN miles an hour! And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the SHOULDER!

Mike: Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Edward! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a bicycle give me the finger, and a duck! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry honey, please don't ! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...