Mike: Whoa, what happened to you? Did you fall into some mud or something?
Steve: Yeah, I did. And now I'm gonna be famous because I'm the only one in the world who knows where you can find WHITE mud.

Steve: Ro-ads. Ro-ods.
Mike: Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day!

We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!

Mike

Oh God, I'm a dead man.

Al

Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!

Horse shit!

Mike

Mike: [to Rock the Vote crowd] Yea! Kill whitey!
Rastafarian: No! No! No!

I could go over to your mama's and light a small fire in her panties!

Drake

Hold your tongue, wench.

Drake

Mike: I'm stoned... so are you!
[looks in the backseat]
Mike: Dammit! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! OK, calm down... we just gotta keep under the speed limit... limit...
[starts giggling]
Mike: Limit! Haha, that's another one of those freaky words!

Steve: This is great I never win at checkers.
Mike: Well, it's kinda easy to win when you NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!

Governor Tracy: I have heard the voice of the voters and the voters said...
[Mike is screaming for help while hanging from his underwear on a satellite dish]
Governor Tracy: ...Holy Shit?!

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Black Sheep Quotes

And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

Mike

Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, you got some kick ass shit!

Mike