Mike: What the hell was that?
Steve: A chunk in the road or something.
Mike: I just chunked in my pants.

Governor Tracy: Now you'll have to tell me your name so I know who to make the check out to.
Clyde: My best friends call me Cash.

And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

Mike

Motorcycle Cop: Could you take him through here a little faster than seven miles per hour, Officer...
Mike: Meoff, Jack.

Mike: Whoa, what happened to you? Did you fall into some mud or something?
Steve: Yeah, I did. And now I'm gonna be famous because I'm the only one in the world who knows where you can find WHITE mud.

Steve: Ro-ads. Ro-ods.
Mike: Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day!

Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!

Mike

We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!

Mike

Oh God, I'm a dead man.

Al

Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!

Horse shit!

Mike

Boy, I could sure use some cupcakes or peanut butter cups right now.

Mike

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Black Sheep Quotes

Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!

Mike

Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, you got some kick ass shit!

Mike