Chazz: Night is a very dark time for me.
Jimmy: It's dark for everyone, idiot!
Chazz: Not for people who live in Alaska. Or people with night-vision goggles.

Jimmy: So Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Chazz: We're going to skate to one song, and one song [sings] I'm gonna get you get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps. My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.
Jimmy: How do you even know what that means?
Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.
Jimmy: No it's not, it's...
Chazz: It gets the people GOING!

Jimmy: I call top bunk!
Chazz: No, I already did.
Jimmy: No you didn't.
Chazz: Yes I did. In my mind.

Jimmy: I see you got fat!
Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

Hi, you've reached Jimmy, if you can dream it, you can do it!


Chazz: Are you an official here? 'Cause you've officially given me a boner.
Chazz: I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bare.

How'd it go with your lady? Carve up any ice... With your weiner?


Darren MacElroy: I'm un-adopting you.
Jimmy: What?
Darren MacElroy: Well, legally I'm disowning you.

Chazz: Personal philosophy: Clothing optional.

I wanna wear the gold medal... naked.


Coach: What do you guys have that all other teams don't have?
Chazz: Twin dongs?

Jimmy: Hey could you help me?
Little Kid: Strangers are danger.

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Blades of Glory Quotes

I am never satisfied... it is a curse!


I just wanna cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday.