Chazz: Night is a very dark time for me.
Jimmy: It's dark for everyone, idiot!
Chazz: Not for people who live in Alaska. Or people with night-vision goggles.

Jimmy: So Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Chazz: We're going to skate to one song, and one song [sings] I'm gonna get you get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps. My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.
Jimmy: How do you even know what that means?
Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.
Jimmy: No it's not, it's...
Chazz: It gets the people GOING!

Jimmy: I call top bunk!
Chazz: No, I already did.
Jimmy: No you didn't.
Chazz: Yes I did. In my mind.

Jimmy: I see you got fat!
Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

Hi, you've reached Jimmy, if you can dream it, you can do it!

Jimmy

Chazz: Are you an official here? 'Cause you've officially given me a boner.
[Whispers]
Chazz: I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bare.

How'd it go with your lady? Carve up any ice... With your weiner?

Chazz

Darren MacElroy: I'm un-adopting you.
Jimmy: What?
Darren MacElroy: Well, legally I'm disowning you.

Chazz: Personal philosophy: Clothing optional.

I wanna wear the gold medal... naked.

Hector

Coach: What do you guys have that all other teams don't have?
Chazz: Twin dongs?

Jimmy: Hey could you help me?
Little Kid: Strangers are danger.

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Blades of Glory Quotes

They laughed at Louie Armstrong when he said he was going to the moon, and now he's laughing at them from up there.

Chazz

Hi, you've reached Jimmy, if you can dream it, you can do it!

Jimmy