Caddyshack Quotes
Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?
Spalding Smails
Tony D'Annunzio: Give me a coke.
Danny Noonan: One coke.
[gives Tony a bottle of Coke and 50 cents]
Tony D'Annunzio: Hey wait a minute. That's only 50 cents.
Danny Noonan: Yeah well Lou raised the price of coke he's been losing at the track.
Tony D'Annunzio: Well I ain't paying no 50 cents for no coke.
Danny Noonan: Oh then you ain't getting no coke. Know what I'm talking about?
Danny Noonan: I can't pay you. Lou has to.
Tony D'Annunzio: Where is he?
Danny Noonan: He's out.
Tony D'Annunzio: I can see that he's out, numbnuts.
Lou Loomis: What's the sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No bare feet.
Lou Loomis: [picks him up by the shirt collar] What's that sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: What's that mean?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: You owe me one gumball machine. What's that candy wrapper doing there? Well don't you see it? Well pick it up.
What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?
Ty Webb
Lacey Underall: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.
Dogfood?
Charlie the Cook
Do you stand for *goodness*, or - for *badness*?
Judge Smails
Al Czervik: [tees off] Fore!
[ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch]
Al Czervik: I should have yelled, "Two!"
Danny Noonan: I've always wanted to go to college.
Judge Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.
Lacey Underall: [to Danny] Nice try.
Bishop: Why don't you come on down to our new Lutheran center?
Danny Noonan: I've often thought about becoming a priest.
Bishop: Oh, are you a Roman Catholic?
[Danny nods]
Bishop: Oh, then I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you can't come.
Bless this ship, and all who sail on her. I christen thee The Flying WASP.
Mrs. Smails
