Favorite Caddyshack Quotes
Don't you people have jobs?Judge Smails
Bishop: Why don't you come on down to our new Lutheran center?
Danny Noonan: I've often thought about becoming a priest.
Bishop: Oh, are you a Roman Catholic?
Bishop: Oh, then I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you can't come.
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.Al Czervik
I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!Al Czervik
He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.Carl Spackler
License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.Carl Spackler
Judge Smails: Oh Porterhouse, look at the wax build up on these shoes I want that wax stripped off there, then I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois, and I want them now. Chop chop.
Smoke Porterhouse: Yes judge, right away judge.
Lacey Underall: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.
This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.Carl Spackler
Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.Al Czervik
Carl Spackler: This place got a pool?
Ty Webb: Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.
It's easy to grin / When your ship comes in / And you've got the stock market beat. / But the man worthwhile, / Is the man who can smile, / When his shorts are too tight in the seat.Judge Smails