I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days.

Carl Spackler

What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?

Ty Webb

Ty Webb: I like you Betty.
Danny Noonan: It's Danny sir.
Ty Webb: Danny.

How about a Fresca?

Judge Smails

Lou Loomis: What's the sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No bare feet.
Lou Loomis: [picks him up by the shirt collar] What's that sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: What's that mean?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: You owe me one gumball machine. What's that candy wrapper doing there? Well don't you see it? Well pick it up.

Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

Ty Webb

Lacey Underall: You're crazy!
Ty Webb: That's what they said about Son of Sam.

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

Al Czervik

Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. [pauses a beat] How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?

Judge Smails

I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!

Al Czervik

Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.

Al Czervik

FREE Movie Newsletter

Caddyshack Quotes

It's easy to grin / When your ship comes in / And you've got the stock market beat. / But the man worthwhile, / Is the man who can smile, / When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

Judge Smails

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Ty Webb