Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.Al Czervik
[to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?Al Czervik
You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?Al Czervik
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.Al Czervik
Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.Al Czervik
IT'S IN THE HOLE!Carl Spackler
He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.Carl Spackler
Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
Ty Webb: I like you Betty.
Danny Noonan: It's Danny sir.
Ty Webb: Danny.
This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.Spalding Smails
Ahoy polloi.Spalding Smails
Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid.Al Czervik