[wasted] I can't feel my legs, I HAVE NO LEGS!

William

You see the salt on this pretzel? Look at the stars. Some people, they say the stars are billions and billions of tons of hot gas. But I think maybe, maybe it's just God's salt. And God's just waiting to eat us.

William

Dude, these brownies suck!

Hippie Girl

I better double bag it. I don't know where that girl been.

Kenny Fisher

Yo, I gotsta have sex tonight!

Kenny Fisher

[after he spills water on his pants] Damn, she's gonna think I got that premature evacuation!

Kenny Fisher

Ritchie Koolboy: Aw damn, man. Our boy's a fag, yo.
DJ Sammy: Yo, who's a fag?
Kenny Fisher: Yo, both of y'all. That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Damn!

Denise: Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.
Preston: Especially in your case. I'm sorry. You gave that to me, I just had to take it. Take care. Peace out, G!

Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train."

Denise

There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white.

Denise

Thank God you found her! She just took three thingies of herbal ecstasy and wondered off! She's so out of it, anything could have happened and she probably wouldn't even know it! God, I was so worried somebody was... well you know, taking advantage of her or something. Here, help me get her on her feet.

Stoned Girl's Friend

Kenny Fisher: Do you, uh... what a drink?
Stoned Girl: Okay.
Kenny Fisher: Uh... how 'bout I poison it?
Stoned Girl: Okay.

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Can't Hardly Wait Quotes

Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad!

William

Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine!

Exchange student