Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely! Geez. You were a sexual icon! You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?
Trip McNeely: Really? Which ones?
Mike Dexter: You must be racking up at college. College!
Trip McNeely: I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman.
Mike Dexter: Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
Trip McNeely: Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's why I broke up with Janeen before I left.
Mike Dexter: [pauses] S-s-so, what happened?
Trip McNeely: [sighs] College chicks are totally different, bro. They're serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. And they wanna date older guys.

Preston: Hey, I've got one for ya. Remember that time when I was about to talk to that beautiful girl, and you came up to me and started telling me all these asinine stories? Remember that, huh?
Random Guy: No.
Preston: Gee, that's funny. Because it just happened!

Preston: This is officially the worst night of my entire life. Thank you very much.
Angel: Try having 40 drunk men grabbing your ass, one groom to be throwing up all over you and then have your car break down at 2 am and then you can talk to me about having a bad night, alright?

Dude, these brownies suck!

Hippie Girl

Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad!

William

Yearbook Girl: So why didn't you get your picture taken?
Denise: Specifically to avoid moments like this.
Yearbook Girl: [not listening] Great, thanks!

That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen! What is wrong with you people?

Rebecca

Preston: I can't believe you pointed at her!
Denise: Look, she didn't see me! What are you, hyperventilating?
Preston: No, I'm hiransing my chi.
Denise: What?
Preston: I'm harnessing my chi.

Kenny Fisher: Yo, I'm just pausin' while those two hos over there scratch it out over who gets to knock the boots with me!
[silence]
Kenny Fisher: Ya know what I'm saying? Yeah!
Ritchie Koolboy: What two ho's?
DJ Sammy: I don't see no ho's yo.

Random Guy: Hey Amanda.
Amanda Becket: Hey.
Random Guy: Remember that time we danced at the sock hop?
Amanda Becket: Yeah.
Random Guy: I just wanted you to know I had the hugest boner and I was just wondering if maybe you and I could get together and... work it out?

Mike Dexter: Who's gonna want you now?
Amanda Becket: [Looking at letter] Somebody.
Mike Dexter: Somebody? More like... nobody!
Amanda Becket: Gosh, Mike. You really got me.

Woman, this is all your fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose.

Kenny Fisher

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Can't Hardly Wait Quotes

Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad!

William

Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine!

Exchange student