Joanne Herring: [Joanne has just told Bonnie to get her a cocktail] She doesn't like me.
Charlie Wilson: Everybody likes you.
Joanne Herring: She's a liberal.
Charlie Wilson: I'm a liberal.
Joanne Herring: [puts her hand on his butt] Not where it counts.

That's a thick ass door!

Yeah, well I'd like to take a moment to review the several ways in which you're a douche bag?

Gust Avrakotos

You know you've reached rock bottom when you're told you have character flaws by a man who hanged his predecessor in a military coup.

Larry Liddle: Miss?
Charlie's Angel #1: Yes sir?
Larry Liddle: It seems to me lookin' around, that it's almost all women workin' here; and that they're all very pretty. Is that common?
Charlie's Angel #1: Well... Congressman Wilson, he has an expression. He says uhh, "You can teach them to type, but you can't teach them to grow tits."
Larry Liddle: Well, that's... charming.

Cravely: And I don't know why the hell I didn't fire you when you broke my fucking window.
Gust Avrakotos: Oh yes sure you do Cravely.
Cravely: Look Gust!
Gust Avrakotos: Yeah you're fucking Roger's fiance, and you know I know.
Cravely: I'm not I'm not I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
Gust Avrakotos: Yeah yeah, you're dignifying her in the ass, at the Jefferson Motel Room 1210 but let me ask you, the 3000 agents Turner fired, was that because they lacked diplomatic skills as well?

[after smashing his boss's office window] My loyalty! For twenty four years people have been trying to kill me! People who know how. Now do you think that’s because my dad was a Greek soda pop maker? Or do you think that's because I'm an American spy? Go fuck yourself, you fucking child!

Gust Avrakotos

These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the endgame.

Gust Avrakotos: There's a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse... and everybody in the village says, "how wonderful. the boy got a horse" And the Zen master says, "we'll see." Two years later The boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everybody in the village says, "how terrible." And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Then a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight... except the boy can't cause his legs messed up. and everyone in the village says, "How wonderful."
Charlie Wilson: And the Zen master says, "We'll see."

Joanne Herring: Why is Congress saying one thing and doing nothing?
Charlie Wilson: Well, tradition mostly.

Larry Liddle: Does the Congressman only hire beautiful women?
Charlie's Angel #2: As the Congressman says, "you can teach them to type, but you can't teach them to grow tits."

The Congressman has never been to rehab. They don't serve whisky at rehab.

Charlie's Angel #4

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Charlie Wilson's War Quotes

Gust Avrakotos: There's a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse... and everybody in the village says, "how wonderful. the boy got a horse" And the Zen master says, "we'll see." Two years later The boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everybody in the village says, "how terrible." And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Then a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight... except the boy can't cause his legs messed up. and everyone in the village says, "How wonderful."
Charlie Wilson: And the Zen master says, "We'll see."

That's a thick ass door!

Charlie Wilson