I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.

Randal Graves

• Permalink: I got to rent movies, f**k with assholes, and hang out with my ...
• Added: August 08, 2007

... I got nothing.

Silent Bob

• Permalink: ... I got nothing.
• Added: August 08, 2007

May your first child be a masculine child!

Randal Graves

• Permalink: May your first child be a masculine child!
• Added: August 08, 2007

You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."

Jay

• Permalink: You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life ins...
• Added: August 08, 2007

What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?

Dante Hicks

• Permalink: What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're tryin...
• Added: August 08, 2007

What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?

Randal Graves

• Permalink: What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not...
• Added: August 08, 2007

Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.

Randal Graves

• Permalink: F**k off with your D&D GoBot bulls**t.
• Added: August 08, 2007

Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!

• Permalink: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauch...
• Added: August 08, 2007

I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.

Hobbit Lover

• Permalink: I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut you...
• Added: August 08, 2007

Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.

• Permalink: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too I don't think...
• Added: August 08, 2007

Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.

• Permalink: Can you feel it? Feel what? Today is the first day of the r...
• Added: August 08, 2007

Randal Graves: You swung at me!
Dante Hicks: You ducked.
Randal Graves: Because you swung at me!

• Permalink: You swung at me! You ducked. Because you swung at me!
• Added: August 08, 2007