Favorite Clerks II Quotes
Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.
Elias: That's bestiality, Randal!
Randal Graves: At it's finest, I hope.
Elias: Who would want to see something like that?
Randal Graves: Dante, me, YOU.
Elias: I don't want to see something like that! Why would you want to see something like that?
Randal Graves: Because it's fucked up! Besides, I want to know if a chick with a mouth full of donkey spunk swallows. Lemme borrow your cell phone.
Teen #1: How about a nickel bag?
Jay: Fifteen bucks, lit-tle man. Put that shit in my hand. Nong nong nonga nonga nong nong.
Teen #1: [to Teen #2] He likes to sing.
Randal Graves: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.
Say what you will about Jesus, but leave "The Rings" alone.Elias
You gotta be as blind as Anne Frank not to see that.Randal Graves
Yo, you guys are gonna miss this shit! The big guy's gonna cornhole that ass! With his weiner!Jay
Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!
Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.Randal Graves
What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?Dante Hicks
May your first child be a masculine child!Randal Graves