Popular Clerks II Quotes
Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.
I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.Hobbit Lover
Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!
Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.Randal Graves
What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?Randal Graves
What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?Dante Hicks
You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."Jay
... I got nothing.Silent Bob
That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.Jay
I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.Randal Graves
[wasted] I hope that donkey doesn't have a heinie troll!Elias
Randal Graves: That look was so gay, I thought Sam was gonna tell the little Hobbits to go for a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock. Now that would have been an Academy Award-worthy ending.
Hobbit Lover: Hey, faggot! They're not gay. They're hobbits.