Teen #1: You holding?
Jay: Shit, everything except coke, heroin, and your cock!

Dante Hicks: The guy's in a wheelchair.
Randal Graves: I know. That's why I call him "crippie-boy."

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Clerks II Quotes

May your first child be a masculine child!

Randal Graves

Randal Graves: Well I don't wanna jerk off in the Mooby's bathroom. What if a customer comes in and my jerkin' off gets him all sex nuts and retard strong, and suddenly I'm fighting him off as he tries to jam my dick in his mouth?
Dante Hicks: The most likeliest of scenarios.