Randal Graves: Why don't you join her and make a little bathroom bam bam?
Dante Hicks: I love your sex talk. It's so kindergarten. "Poo poo". "Wee wee".
Randal Graves: Fuck you.

Dante Hicks: Just go. Just go open the video store.
Jay: Yeah! Go open the video store!
Randal Graves: Shut the fuck up, junkie.

Veronica Loughran: Hi, Randal.
Randal Graves: Thirty-seven?
Dante Hicks: Shut up!

Yeah, Silent Bob, your a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute has hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys and make like a circus seal.


Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as a oral bowel movement.

Randal Graves

Caitlin Bree: Can I use the bathroom?
Randal Graves: Sure, but there's no light back there.
Caitlin Bree: Why aren't there any lights?
Randal Graves: Well, there are, but for some reason they stop working at 5:14 every night. Nobody can figure it out. And the boss doesn't want to pay the electrician to fix it, because the electrician owes money to the video store.
Caitlin Bree: Such a sordid state of affairs.
Randal Graves: And I'm caught right in the middle - torn between my loyalty to the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.
Caitlin Bree: Well, I'll try to manage.
Randal Graves: Oh, hey Caitlin, break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal.

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Clerks Quotes

Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

Dante Hicks

Bitter Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
Bitter Customer: [grabs pack of cigarettes] Fuckin' dickhead.