Michael Newman: [reading off letter] Like I Said, "Good Guys Need A Break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S. Your Wife's Rockin' Body Still Drives Me Crazy.
Michael Newman: Okay, Morty.
[Throws the universal remote into the bin]

[scene after the dog humps toy duck] I have to sew the duck's head back on... and fix his butthole.

Donna Newman

He's always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it's just corn flakes.

Morty

Donna Newman: Will you still love me in the morning?
Michael Newman: Forever and ever, babe

I know it's deviant... but it's kinda turning me on.
[kisses Michael again]

Donna Newman

It's all just... cornflakes.

Morty

Michael Newman: [looking in a mirror] You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to yellow] You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to green] Grr... Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr!
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to purple] Oh, there's Barney.
[starts to sing]
Michael Newman: I love you, you love me, the jogger has giant boobies.

Michael Newman: You sell any universal remotes here?
Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: I dunno. I don't really work here; I'm just waiting for my friends.
Michael Newman: Really?
Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: No. I actually don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?

I missed the whole Dragon Tales Era?

Michael Newman

Michael Newman: Sorry, i'm late , sir. Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so...
Prince Habeeboo: Prince Habeeboo, Drive red Lamborghini.
Michael Newman: Red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.

Samantha Newman - Age 5: Daddy, how much longer are you going to live?
Michael Newman: [to cellphone] One minute.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: One minute?

Trudy: Hey, Micheal. Micheal, who are you talking to?
Michael Newman: Jesus. I'm talking to my boss, Ma. Take it easy.
Trudy: Oh, yeah? Well, tell him to get a life. You got family here. You're busy. Come on.
Michael Newman: My mother says hello.

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Click Quotes

Michael Newman: [reading off letter] Like I Said, "Good Guys Need A Break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S. Your Wife's Rockin' Body Still Drives Me Crazy.
Michael Newman: Okay, Morty.
[Throws the universal remote into the bin]

Donna Newman: Will you still love me in the morning?
Michael Newman: Forever and ever, babe