Michael Newman: Sorry, i'm late , sir. Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so...
Prince Habeeboo: Prince Habeeboo, Drive red Lamborghini.
Michael Newman: Red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.
I missed the whole Dragon Tales Era?Michael Newman
Michael Newman: You sell any universal remotes here?
Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: I dunno. I don't really work here; I'm just waiting for my friends.
Michael Newman: Really?
Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: No. I actually don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?
Michael Newman: [looking in a mirror] You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to yellow] You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to green] Grr... Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr!
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to purple] Oh, there's Barney.
[starts to sing]
Michael Newman: I love you, you love me, the jogger has giant boobies.
It's all just... cornflakes.Morty
Michael Newman: [reading off letter] Like I Said, "Good Guys Need A Break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S. Your Wife's Rockin' Body Still Drives Me Crazy.
Michael Newman: Okay, Morty.
[Throws the universal remote into the bin]
I know it's deviant... but it's kinda turning me on.Donna Newman
[kisses Michael again]
Donna Newman: Will you still love me in the morning?
Michael Newman: Forever and ever, babe
He's always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it's just corn flakes.Morty
[scene after the dog humps toy duck] I have to sew the duck's head back on... and fix his butthole.Donna Newman
Michael Newman: My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older, just so you guys know that.
Trudy: It couldn't have gotten any smaller.
Ted: [Laughing] It looked like a litttle Tic Tac.
Michael Newman: Yeah, come, here, I'll freshen your breath.