Customs Officer: Welcome back, Miss Jones.
Alice: Thank you.

Larry: You're seeing him now? Since when?
Anna: Since my opening last year.
[pause]
Anna: I'm disgusting.
Larry: You're phenomenal. You're so clever.

But we're happy... Aren't we?

Larry

I think you owe me for deceiving me so exquisitely.

Larry

I don't love you anymore. Goodbye.

Alice

Alice: [in the emergency room] Are we in for a long wait?
Dan: [looks at old woman] She was 21 when she came in.

Dan: It's not safe out there.
Alice: Oh, and it's safe in here?

As dermatological conferences go, it was a riot.

Larry

Alice: How can one man be so endlessly disappointing?
Dan: That's my charm.

A good fight is never clean.

Larry

Anna: We do everything that people who have sex do!
Larry: Do you enjoy sucking him off?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: You like his cock?
Anna: I love it!
Larry: You like him coming in your face?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: What does it taste like?
Anna: It tastes like you but sweeter!
Larry: That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.

Larry: I'll pay you.
Alice: I don't need your money.
Larry: You have my money.
Alice: Thank you.

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Closer Quotes

Larry: What does your cunt taste like?
Alice: Heaven.

Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.

Alice