Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.


Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.
Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees.

He does dress better than I do... what would I bring to the relationship?


Old people can be so sweet!


Christian: Do you like Billie Holiday?
Cher: I love him.

Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.


Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.


Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked.
Cher: No, I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.

Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Suess?
Dionne: Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack.
Cher: It's faux.

Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.


She could be a farmer in those clothes.


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Clueless Quotes

Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Cher: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian: Hagsville.
Cher: See?

Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.