Mr. Hall: So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton?
Elton: Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it.

Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.

Dionne

[seeking a match for her teacher] Unfortunately, There was a major babe drought at my school. The evil trolls from the math department were actually married and in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.

Cher

I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.

Travis

I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and, like, 3 pieces of licorice.

Cher

Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.

Cher

Cher: Ms. Stoger. That machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Miss Stoger: Thanks for the legal advice.

What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?

Mel

Mel: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.

Cher: Would you call me selfish?
Dionne: No, not to your face.

That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.

Cher

Tai: Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive.
Cher: That was way harsh, Tai.

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Clueless Quotes

Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Cher: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian: Hagsville.
Cher: See?

Murray: Your man Christian is a cake boy!
Cher, Dionne: A what?
Murray: He's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde reading, Streissand ticket holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?
Cher: Uh-uh, no way, not even!
Murray: Yes even, he's gay!
Dionne: He does like to shop, Cher. And the boy can dress.