Mr. Hall: So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton?
Elton: Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it.

Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.


[seeking a match for her teacher] Unfortunately, There was a major babe drought at my school. The evil trolls from the math department were actually married and in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.


I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.


She could be a farmer in those clothes.


Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.


Cher: Ms. Stoger. That machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Miss Stoger: Thanks for the legal advice.

What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?


Mel: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.

Cher: Would you call me selfish?
Dionne: No, not to your face.

That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.


Tai: Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive.
Cher: That was way harsh, Tai.

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Clueless Quotes

Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Cher: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian: Hagsville.
Cher: See?

Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.