Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'.


Cher: Daddy, this is my friend, Tai.
Mel: [to Tai] Get the hell outta my chair!

Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign.
Cher: I totally paused.

Josh: Hey, in some parts of the universe, maybe not in contempo-casual, but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.
Cher: Thank you Josh. I SO need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me the part about Kenny G again?

Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.

Cher: If it's a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.
Elton: What's seven times seven?
Cher: Stuff she knows.

Josh: You know maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is...
Cher: Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.
Josh: Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

Looks like we're gonna have to make a cameo at the Val party.


Tai: Hey, did you see that?
Cher: Ugh. Skateboards. That's like so five years ago.

It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."


So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.

Cher Horowitz

FREE Movie Newsletter

Clueless Quotes

Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Cher: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian: Hagsville.
Cher: See?

Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.