Well, fuck you very much. But thanks for thinking of me.


Officer Ryan: [talking on the phone] I wanna speak to your supervisor...
Shaniqua: I am my supervisor!
Officer Ryan: All right well, what's your name?
Shaniqua: Shaniqua Johnson.
Officer Ryan: Shaniqua. Big fucking surprise that is!
Shaniqua: Oh!
[Shaniqua hangs up]

Anthony: Look around! You couldn't find a whiter, safer or better lit part of this city. But this white woman sees two black guys, who look like UCLA students, strolling down the sidewalk and her reaction is blind fear. I mean, look at us! Are we dressed like gangbangers? Do we look threatening? No. Fact, if anybody should be scared, it's us: the only two black faces surrounded by a sea of over-caffeinated white people, patrolled by the triggerhappy LAPD. So, why aren't we scared?
Peter: Because we have guns?
Anthony: You could be right.

Anthony: You could fill the Staple Center with what you don't know.
Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.
Anthony: You don't like hockey! Only reason you say you so it to piss me off!
Peter: ...I love hockey.

Anthony: You wanna get yourself killed, nigger?
Cameron: [punches him] Call me nigger again, man. Call me nigger again.
Anthony: You stupid motherfucker.

Lara: How far can bullets go?
Daniel: They go pretty far except sometimes they get stuck in something and they stop.
Lara: What if they don't?
Daniel: Are you thinking about that bullet than went through your window?

Cameron: [after Christine's been molested] Who are you calling?
Christine: I'm gonna report their asses, sons of bitches.

Anthony: That waitress sized us up in two seconds. We're black and black people don't tip. So she wasn't gonna waste her time. Now somebody like that? Nothing you can do to change their mind.
Peter: So, uh... how much did you leave?
Anthony: You expect me to pay for that kind of service?

Anthony: You see any white people in there waiting an hour and thirty two minutes for a plate of spaghetti? Huh? And how many cups of coffee did we get?
Peter: You don't drink coffee and I didn't want any.
Anthony: That woman poured cup after cup to every white person around us. Did she even ask you if you wanted any?
Peter: We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black?

Rick: Why do these guys have to be black? No matter how we spin this thing, I'm either gonna lose the black vote or I'm gonna lose the law and order vote!
Karen: You know, I think you're worrying too much. You have a lot of support in the black community.
Rick: All right. if we can't duck this thing, we're gonna have to neutralize it. What we need is a picture of me pinning a medal on a black man. The firefighter - the one that saved the camp or something - Northridge... what's his name?
Bruce: He's Iraqi.
Rick: He's Iraqi? He looks black.
Bruce: He's dark-skinned, sir, but he's Iraqi, his name's Saddam Hassif.
Rick: His name's Saddam? Oh, that's great, Bruce. Yeah, I'm gonna pin a medal on an Iraqi named Saddam. Give yourself a raise, won't you?

They think we're Arab. When did Persian become Arab?


Anthony: No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drive, then ask me that again!

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Crash Quotes

I just couldn't stand to see that man take away your dignity.


They think we're Arab. When did Persian become Arab?