Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.

Maya Hayes: What's a threesome?
Will Hayes: It's a game, that adults play sometimes... When they're bored.
Maya Hayes: ...Whatever.

This song is an excellent cure for the will to live.

Will Hayes

April: You and me, it'd kinda be like cats and dogs.
Will Hayes: Oil and water.
April: Sand paper and bare ass.
Will Hayes: That's gross.

Dad, I can't believe you drank... and smoked... and was such a slut... But I still love you.

Maya Hayes

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Definitely, Maybe Quotes

Maya Hayes: What's a threesome?
Will Hayes: It's a game, that adults play sometimes... When they're bored.
Maya Hayes: ...Whatever.

Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.