No one kills him but me! Understood?

Karl

Karl: They're using artillery on us!
Hans Gruber: You idiot, it's not the police. It's *him*!

John McClane: These guys are mostly European judging by their clothing labels and their... cigarettes. They're well-financed and very slick.
Sergeant Al Powell: Well, now how do you know that?
John McClane: I've seen enough phony ID's in my time to know that the ones they got must have cost a fortune. Add all that up, I don't know what the fuck it means, but you got some bad-ass perpetrators and they're here to stay.
Sergeant Al Powell: I hear ya, partner. And L.A.'s finest are on it.

When they land we blow up the roof, they spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time they work out what went wrong, we'll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.

Hans Gruber

Businessman: You don't like flying, do you?
John McClane: What gives you that idea?
Businessman: You want to know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks then walk around on the rug bare foot and make fists with your toes.
John McClane: Fists with your toes?

Who's driving this car, Stevie Wonder?

John McClane

Oh my God, the quarterback is toast.

Theo

John McClane: You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan.
Joseph Takagi: Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.

Joseph Takagi: You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?
Hans Gruber: Who said we were terrorists?

C'mon baby, come ta' papa, I'll kiss ya' fuckin' dalmatian.

John McClane

Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.

John McClane

Supervisor: Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only...
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

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Die Hard Quotes

[recalls his wife's invitation] Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...

John McClane

Hans Gruber: Who are you then?
John McClane: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.