Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there!
Mary: I beg your pardon?
Harry: The owls! They're beautiful!

Hey guys. Woah, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see ya later

Lloyd

Harry: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

Lloyd: Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?
Mary: How'd you guess?
Lloyd: I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put 2 and 2 together.

Harry: OK gang, you know the rules, no humping, no licking, no sniffing hineys.
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Lloyd: All we need to do is show a little class, a little sophistication, and we're in like a dirty shirt.
Harry: No problem, Lloyd. We can be classy and sophistic... Oh check out the funbags on that hosehound.
Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chi

Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

Harry

Harry: So you got fired again, eh?
Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know?
Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.
Lloyd: Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon.

Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.

We got no food, no jobs... our PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"

Lloyd

Harry: Yeah, well, I don't know. These places just don't do it for me.
Lloyd: What's the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart?
Harry: No, it was a girl.

Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there!
Mary: I beg your pardon?
Harry: The owls! They're beautiful!

Hey, guys. Big gulps, huh? Cool. All right! Well, see ya later.

Lloyd

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Dumb & Dumber Quotes

Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.

Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Lady at bus stop: Austria.
Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Lady at bus stop: Let's not.