Santa: I've been to New York thousands of times.
Buddy: Really?
Santa: Mmm hmm.
Buddy: What's it like?
Santa: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy.
Buddy: Oh.
Santa: Second, there are, like, 30 Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show," that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before Christmas.

Buddy: Actually, I'm a human, but I was raised by elves.
Carolyn: I'm a human... raised by humans.
Buddy: Cool.

Emily: You like sugar, huh?
Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
Emily: Yes.
Buddy: Then YES!

Now, before we learn how to build the latest in extreme graphic chipset processors, let's recite the code of the elves, shall we?

Elf Teacher

Santa: That's another thing... Buddy you should know that your father... he's on the naughty list.
Buddy: Nooooo!

[pushing elevator buttons] It looks like a Christmas tree!


Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?
Buddy: I heard you singing.
Jovie: Are you sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked in the shower?
Buddy: I didn't know you were naked.

It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture.


I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.


[in the mail room] It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me.


What about santa's cookies? I suppose parents eat those too?


Miles Finch: [pitching ideas] No tomatoes. Too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable.
Walter: See, I told you guys. I told them the same thing...
Miles Finch: And no farms. Everyone's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise.

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Elf Quotes

Leon the Snowman: By the way don't eat the yellow snow.
Buddy: Oh, I know that.

Francisco! That's fun to say! Francisco... Frannncisco... Franciscooo...