Walter: What do you want? Some money?
Buddy: No! I just wanted to meet you and thought maybe you might want to meet me.
Walter: Who wouldn't wanna meet you?

Walter: You get the hell out of here.
Buddy: Where do you want me to go?
Walter: I don't care where you go. I don't care that you're an elf! I don't care that you're nuts! I don't care that you're my son! Get out of my life! Now!

Leon the Snowman: Why the long face, Buddy?
Buddy: It seems I'm not an elf.
Leon the Snowman: Of course you're not an elf. You're six-foot-three and had a beard since you were 15.

Oh, hello. You're, uh, you're probably here about the story. Elves love to tell stories. I... I'll bet you didn't know that about elves. There's, uh, probably a lot of things you didn't know about elves. Another, another interesting, uh, elfism, uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps.

Papa Elf

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy: Yes there is!
Gimbel's Manager: No there's not!
Buddy: We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager: No you don't!
Buddy: Especially when we build toys!

Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie: I *can* sing, I just choose *not* to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy: No there's not.

Walter: Who sent this Christmas Gram?
Buddy: What's a Christmas Gram? I want one!

Buddy: Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
Jovie: No way.

Buddy: Who the heck are you?
Gimbel's Santa: What are you talkin' about? I'm Santa Claus.
Buddy: No, you're not.
Gimbel's Santa: Uh, why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho!

Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
Gimbel's Santa: Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?
Kid with Santa: Four.
Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
Kid with Santa: Paul.
Gimbel's Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: Don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.

Buddy: You're a fake.
Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
Buddy: Yes!
Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead, huh? Ho, ho, just kidding.
Buddy: You stink.
Gimbel's Santa: I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.

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Elf Quotes

Make work your favorite. That's your new favorite.

Gimbel's Manager

Leon the Snowman: By the way don't eat the yellow snow.
Buddy: Oh, I know that.