Michael: Where's the playground?
Elliot: It's near the preschool!
Michael: Where's that?
Elliot: I don't know streets! Mom always drives me!
Michael: Son of a bitch.

We're all going to die and they're never going to give me my license!

Michael

Elliot: Oh, God!
E.T.: Elliot.
Elliot: What?
E.T.: Elliot! Elliot!
Gertie: I taught him how to talk. He can talk now.
Elliot: Wait. Can you say 'E.T.'? E.T.?
E.T.: E.T.
Elliot: Aha!
E.T.: E.T.! E.T.! E.T.!

Elliot: What do I do?
Michael: I don't know. You have absolute power, remember?

[as Yoda] "You have absolute power! Eerrp!"

Michael

We made it! Oh shit!

Tyler

A pizza? Who said you guys could order a pizza?

Mary

Elliot: You're so immature!
Greg: And you're such a sinus supremus.
Elliot: Zero charisma!
Greg: Sinus supremus!
Elliot: Zero charisma!
Greg: Sinus supremus!
Elliot: Shut up Greg!

Steve: Did your goblin come back?
Michael: Shut up.
Greg: Well, did he?
Elliot: Yeah, he came back. But he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.
Tyler: Ooh! An Extra-Terrestrial! Where's he from? Uranus? Get it? Your anus?
Greg: He doesn't get it Ty.
Tyler: Get it? Your anus?
Greg: He doesn't get it.

You must be dead, because I don't know how to feel. I can't feel anything anymore.

Elliot

[imitating Elliot] I found him, he belongs to me!

Michael

Elliot, I don't think he was left here intentionally, but his being here is a miracle, Elliot. It's a miracle and you did the best that anybody could do. I'm glad he met you first.

Keys

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E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial Quotes

I'm keeping him.

Elliott

[as Yoda] "You have absolute power! Eerrp!"

Michael