I am going to be SO pissed if it doesn't.

Evan Baxter

Evan Baxter: [Looks into rear view mirror, sees God sitting there] Aaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
God: Let it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom.

Rita: Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft? Did you just come out of a coma?
Evan Baxter: No.
Rita: Were you attacked by a werewolf?
Evan Baxter: No, I wasn't.

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Evan Almighty Quotes

[to the Heavens] Is it too much to ask for a LITTLE PRECIPITATION?

Evan Baxter

[to Evan] I love you!... I mean, I think we should hang out socially... I have a new ping pong table.

Eugene