Jerry Lundegaard: Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock a hundred dollars off that Trucoat.
Irate Customer: A hundred... You lied to me, Mr Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced liar. A... fucking liar. Where's my goddamn checkbook? Let's get this over with.

• Permalink: Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

You're a smooth smooth, you know.

Gaer Grimsrud

• Permalink: You're a smooth smooth, you know.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don't you know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well, I just don't understand it.

Marge Gunderson

• Permalink: So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.

Marge Gunderson

• Permalink: I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry Lundegaard: Now we had a deal. A deal's a deal.
Carl Showalter: Is it, Jerry? Why don't you ask those three poor souls in Brainerd if a deal's a deal. Go ahead, ask 'em!
Jerry Lundegaard: The heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter: [mocking] "The heckya mean?"

• Permalink: Now we had a deal. A deal's a deal. Is it, Jerry? Why don't y...
• Rating: Unrated

So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like, I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."

Mr. Mohra

• Permalink: So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday...
• Rating: Unrated

Carl Showalter: Okay, here're the keys to my truck. I'm taking the car right now and gettin' out of here.
Gaer Grimsrud: We split that.
Carl Showalter: How the fuck do you split a car, you dummy? With a fucking chainsaw?

• Permalink: Okay, here're the keys to my truck. I'm taking the car right no...
• Rating: Unrated

Ah, hon, ya got Arby's all over me.

Marge Gunderson

• Permalink: Ah, hon, ya got Arby's all over me.
• Rating: Unrated

And I guess that was your accomplice in the woodchipper.

Marge Gunderson

• Permalink: And I guess that was your accomplice in the woodchipper.
• Rating: Unrated

You know, I've been listening to your fuckin' bullshit all week. Are we square? Are WE square? Yeah, ya fuckin' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass!

Carl Showalter

• Permalink: You know, I've been listening to your f**kin' bulls**t all week...
• Rating: Unrated

Jerry Lundegaard: I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter: You're Jerry Lundegaard?
Jerry Lundegaard: Ya. Shep Proudfoot said...
Carl Showalter: Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?
Jerry Lundegaard: Shep said 8:30.
Carl Showalter: We've been sitting here an hour. He's peed three times already.
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm sure sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.

• Permalink: I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard. You're Jerry Lundegaard? Ya. She...
• Rating: Unrated

Hold on! No fucking way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot! I got fuckin' shot in the face! I went and got the fuckin' money; I got shot fuckin' picking it up. I've been up for thirty-six fucking hours! I'm taking' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine! You fucking asshole!

Carl Showalter

• Permalink: Hold on! No f**king way! You f**kin' notice this? I got f**kin'...
• Rating: Unrated