Favorite Fargo Quotes
[beating Carl] Fucking little weasel! Fuck you! You fucking motherfucker son of a bitch! Fucking cock! Jesus Christ! You fucking shitbag motherfucker!Shep Proudfoot
OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal.Marge Gunderson
Just keep it still back there lady or we're going to have to, you know, shoot you.Carl Showalter
Norm Gunderson: They announced it.
Marge Gunderson: They announced it?
Norm Gunderson: Yeah.
Marge Gunderson: So?
Norm Gunderson: Three-cent stamp.
Marge Gunderson: Your mallard?
Norm Gunderson: Yeah.
Marge Gunderson: Oh, that's terrific.
Norm Gunderson: It's just a three-cent stamp.
Marge Gunderson: It's terrific.
Norm Gunderson: Hautman's blue-winged teal got the 29-cent. People don't much use the three-cent.
Marge Gunderson: Oh, for Pete's sake. Of course they do. Whenever they raise the postage, people need the little stamps.
Marge Gunderson: Say Lou, did ya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?
Lou: Yah, that's a good one.
Jerry Lundegaard: I told ya. We haven't had any vehicles go missing.
Marge Gunderson: Okay! But are ya sure? 'Cause I mean, how do you know? Do you do a count, or what kind of a routine do you have here?
Jerry Lundegaard: [uncomfortable] Ma'am, I answered your question!
Marge Gunderson: [pause] I'm sorry, sir?
Jerry Lundegaard: Ma'am, I answered your question. I answered the darned... I'm cooperatin' here!
Marge Gunderson: Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me, I'm just doing my job here.
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm... not arguing here! I'm cooperating. So there's no need to... we're doin' all we can here.
Marge Gunderson: Sir, could I talk to Mr. Gustafson?
Carl Showalter: So, why don't you just ask him for the money?
Gaer Grimsrud: Or your fuckin' wife, you know.
Carl Showalter: Or your fucking wife, Jerry?
Officer Olson: Hiya, Norm. How ya doin', Margie? How's the fricasse?
Marge Gunderson: Pretty darn good, ya want some?
Officer Olson: No, I gotta - hey, Norm, I thought you were goin' fishin' up at Mille Lacs?
Norm Gunderson: Yah, after lunch.
Carl Showalter: Who the fuck are you? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
Wade Gustafson: I got your damn money; now where's my daughter?
Carl Showalter: I am through fucking around here. Drop that fucking briefcase!
Wade Gustafson: Where's my daughter?
Carl Showalter: Fuck you, man! Where's Jerry? I gave simple fucking instructions.
Wade Gustafson: Where's my damn daughter? No Jean, no money!
Carl Showalter: Drop that fucking money!
Wade Gustafson: No Jean, no money!
Carl Showalter: Is this a fucking joke here? [shoots Wade] Happy now, asshole? What's with you people? Ya fucking imbeciles!
[Shep Proudfoot bursts in and knocks Carl out of bed while he was having sex with hooker] Shep, what the fuck ya doin'? I'm banging that girl!Carl Showalter
Carl Showalter: So, how long you been with the escort service?
Escort: I don't know, a few months.
Carl Showalter: Find that work interesting, do ya?
Escort: What're you talkin' about?
Carl Showalter: Alright Jerry, you got the phone to yourself?
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, yeah.
Carl Showalter: You know who this is?
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, yeah, I got an idea. How's that Sierra working out for ya?
Carl Showalter: Circumstances have changed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, what do ya mean?
Carl Showalter: Thing have changed, circumstances Jerry, beyond the uh acts of god.
Jerry Lundegaard: How's Jean?
Carl Showalter: Who's Jean?
Jerry Lundegaard: My wife! What the?
Carl Showalter: Oh she's alright, but there's a few people in Brainerd who aren't so ok I'll tell you that.
Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck are ya talking about? Let's just finish this deal up here.
Carl Showalter: Blood has been Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter: Three people, in Brainerd.
Jerry Lundegaard: Oh jeez.
Carl Showalter: That's right we need more money.
Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck are ya talking about? What do you fellas have yourself mixed up in?
Carl Showalter: We need more money...
Jerry Lundegaard: [interrupting] This was supposed to be a no rough stuff type deal!
Carl Showalter: [angry] DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME JERRY, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Jerry Lundegaard: Well I'm sorry but I just- I don't
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna debate you Jerry! I'm not gonna debate! We now want the entire 80,00!
Jerry Lundegaard: Oh for christ's sake here!