Favorite Fargo Quotes
Carl Showalter: Alright Jerry, I'm through fucking around. You got the fucking money?
Jerry Lundegaard: Yeah, I got the money, but... uh...
Carl Showalter: Don't you fucking fuck me, Jerry. I want you to get this money to the Dayton Radisson, top level, in 30 minutes, Jerry, we wrap this thing up.
Jerry Lundegaard: Yeah, but...
Carl Showalter: Hey, you're there in 30 minutes Jerry or I find you Jerry and I shoot you and I shoot your fucking wife and I shoot all your fucking children and I shoot them all in the back of their little fucking heads, you got it?
Jerry Lundegaard: Okay, now you stay away from Scotty now.
Carl Showalter: Got it?
[beating Carl] Fucking little weasel! Fuck you! You fucking motherfucker son of a bitch! Fucking cock! Jesus Christ! You fucking shitbag motherfucker!Shep Proudfoot
Norm Gunderson: They announced it.
Marge Gunderson: They announced it?
Norm Gunderson: Yeah.
Marge Gunderson: So?
Norm Gunderson: Three-cent stamp.
Marge Gunderson: Your mallard?
Norm Gunderson: Yeah.
Marge Gunderson: Oh, that's terrific.
Norm Gunderson: It's just a three-cent stamp.
Marge Gunderson: It's terrific.
Norm Gunderson: Hautman's blue-winged teal got the 29-cent. People don't much use the three-cent.
Marge Gunderson: Oh, for Pete's sake. Of course they do. Whenever they raise the postage, people need the little stamps.
Gaer Grimsrud: Where is Pancake's House?
Carl Showalter: What?
Gaer Grimsrud: We stop at Pancake's House.
Airport Lot Attendant: There's a minimum charge of 4 dollars, long term parking charges by the day.
Carl Showalter: I guess you think you're... you know like an authority figure, with that stupid fucking uniform, huh buddy? King clip-on-tie there, big fucking man huh? You know these are the limits of your life man. The rule of your little fucking gate here. Here's your 4 dollars you pathetic piece of shit!
Carl Showalter: So, why don't you just ask him for the money?
Gaer Grimsrud: Or your fuckin' wife, you know.
Carl Showalter: Or your fucking wife, Jerry?
Carl Showalter: Alright Jerry, you got the phone to yourself?
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, yeah.
Carl Showalter: You know who this is?
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, yeah, I got an idea. How's that Sierra working out for ya?
Carl Showalter: Circumstances have changed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, what do ya mean?
Carl Showalter: Thing have changed, circumstances Jerry, beyond the uh acts of god.
Jerry Lundegaard: How's Jean?
Carl Showalter: Who's Jean?
Jerry Lundegaard: My wife! What the?
Carl Showalter: Oh she's alright, but there's a few people in Brainerd who aren't so ok I'll tell you that.
Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck are ya talking about? Let's just finish this deal up here.
Carl Showalter: Blood has been Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter: Three people, in Brainerd.
Jerry Lundegaard: Oh jeez.
Carl Showalter: That's right we need more money.
Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck are ya talking about? What do you fellas have yourself mixed up in?
Carl Showalter: We need more money...
Jerry Lundegaard: [interrupting] This was supposed to be a no rough stuff type deal!
Carl Showalter: [angry] DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME JERRY, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Jerry Lundegaard: Well I'm sorry but I just- I don't
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna debate you Jerry! I'm not gonna debate! We now want the entire 80,00!
Jerry Lundegaard: Oh for christ's sake here!
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter: You're Jerry Lundegaard?
Jerry Lundegaard: Ya. Shep Proudfoot said...
Carl Showalter: Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?
Jerry Lundegaard: Shep said 8:30.
Carl Showalter: We've been sitting here an hour. He's peed three times already.
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm sure sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.
Norm Gunderson: Two more months.
Marge Gunderson: [smiling] Two more months.
You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.Carl Showalter
I need unguent.Gaer Grimsrud
You should see the other guy!Carl Showalter