[dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.

Brad Hamilton

Mr. Hand: 'Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?' Gee, Mr. Spicoli, I don't know! You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to leave your words right up here for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli.
Jeff Spicoli: All right!

Businessman: It says one hundred percent guaranteed, you moron!
Brad Hamilton: Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass!

I think I just came... didn't you feel it?

Mike Damone

Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you have to get up
Jeff Spicoli: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you're gonna be late again you butthole!
Jeff Spicoli: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you're gonna be late again you booger!

What are you, people? On dope?

Mr. Hand

I woke up in a great mood; I don't know what the hell happened.

Mike Damone

Jeff Spicoli: Hey, you're ripping my card.
Mr. Hand: Yes.
Jeff Spicoli: Hey bud, what's your problem?
Mr. Hand: No problem at all. I think you know where the front office is.
Jeff Spicoli: You dick!

[passing back class' exams] 'C', 'D', 'F'. 'F'. 'F'. For three weeks we have been talking about the Platt Amendment. It was passed in 1906.

Mr. Hand

Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Anyone?

Mr. Hand

What is this fascination with truancy? What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU!

Mr. Hand

Can you honestly tell me you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Robin Zander, or the charisma of Rick Nielsen?

Damone

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Fast Times at Ridgemont High Quotes

[dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.

Brad Hamilton

That was my skull! I'm so wasted!

Jeff Spicoli