[Linda opens the door while he is jerking off] Jeez. Doesn't anyone fucking knock any more?

Brad Hamilton

Brad, your sister's turning into a fox!

Brad's Bud

What do you mean, better in bed? Either you do it or you don't.

Linda Barrett

Mr. Vargas: They sold their bodies to medicine for money. About $30, I think.
Dr. Miller: Twenty-five.
Jeff Spicoli: Righteous bucks!

Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.
Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.
Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.

Mike Damone: This is going to be great, Rat. It's like the highlight of their day.
Mark Ratner: Hey maybe we'd better call first. I dunno about dropping in like...
Mike Damone: What are you kidding? We're gunna surprise them. Look, just fix your collar, alright? Relax, just be cool, attitude, remember? Where'd you get that, outta the hamper?
Mark Ratner: Hey, come on, this is clean.
Mike Damone: Look Rat, it's like riding a bike. Fall off; you're right back on. Mess up a date, do it again.

Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.

Mike Damone

Mike Damone: Look at you: member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of the movie theater. I'm tellin' ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right?

This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there.

Jeff Spicoli

[dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.

Brad Hamilton

Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

Mr. Hand

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Fast Times at Ridgemont High Quotes

That was my skull! I'm so wasted!

Jeff Spicoli

Brad Hamilton: Why don't you get a job Spicoli?
Jeff Spicoli: What for?
Brad Hamilton: You need money.
Jeff Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.