Hey ump, get off your knees. You're blowing the game!

Stephen King

Al Waterman, have a sponge.

Al

Ben: Yeah, she's great. Definitely the best girlfriend I've had. The sex was...
Ryan: Okay, Mr. Wrightman, I gotta bat.

Ben: So let's start the interrogation.
Molly: No, no, it's not like that.
Ian: [finishes his drink and hands it to Ben] Here, for the urine test.
Ben: Aw, really? I wish you would have told me I just wizzed in your bushes.

Lindsey Meeks: So you don't have a cell phone, a pager, a blackberry nothing? What if some sudden crisis occurs like your father has a heart attack or something?
Ben: My father died two years ago.
Lindsey Meeks: Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben: No, actually I just found out this morning so it's been a rough 24 hours. You know, maybe I should get a cell phone.
Lindsey Meeks: [laughs] You're funny, Ben...

Ben: You forgot my last name, didn't you?
Lindsey Meeks: No, I just... blanked.
Ben: No, I bet when you talk to your friends you call me Ben the School Teacher.

Reporter: Where do the Sox rank in terms of importance in your life?
Ben: I say the Red Sox... sex... and breathing!

If you love me enough to sell your tickets, I love you enough not to let you.

Lindsey Meeks

Lindsey Meeks: I saw you on ESPN.
Ben: Yeah, we looked like morons, didn't we?
Lindsey Meeks: Yah, yah, totally. Well, not you so much.
Ben: Well, it was Florida. It was hot.

That's not Yankee dancing - that's Devil Rays dancin'!

Ben

Robin: He's offering Ben $125,000 for his Red Sox tickets.
Sarah: Are you really that rich?
Robin: Yes.
Sarah: Then why don't you dress better?

Lindsey Meeks: No, it's the game!
Ben: No, I'm fine. It's just a game.

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Fever Pitch Quotes

Hey ump, get off your knees. You're blowing the game!

Stephen King

Ryan: You love the Red Sox, but have they ever loved you back?
Ben: Who do you think you are, Dr. Phil? Go on, get outta here!