Popular Fight Club Quotes
Narrator: [reading] I am Jack's colon.
Tyler Durden: I get cancer, I kill Jack.
Narrator: I'll tell you: we'll split up the week, okay? You take lymphoma, and tuberculosis...
Marla Singer: You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
Narrator: Okay, good, fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.
Marla Singer: Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
Narrator: You're kidding.
Marla Singer: I don't know... am I?
Narrator: No, no! What do you want?
Marla Singer: I'll take the parasites.
Narrator: You can't have both the parasites, but while you take the blood parasites...
Marla Singer: I want brain parasites.
Narrator: I'll take the blood parasites. But I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia, okay?
Marla Singer: I want that.
Narrator: You can't have the whole brain, that's...
Marla Singer: So far you have four, I only have two!
Narrator: Okay. Take both the parasites. They're yours. Now we both have three...
Narrator: [pulls tooth out] Fuck.
Tyler Durden: Hey, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.
[on support groups] It's cheaper than a movie, and there's free coffee.Marla Singer
Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me. That condo was my life, okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, it was ME! [voice-over] I'd like to thank the Academy...Narrator
I am Jack's wasted life.Narrator
I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.Narrator
I am Jack's broken heart.Narrator
Is Tyler my bad dream? Or am I Tyler's?Narrator
Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip.Narrator
You met me at a very strange time in my life.Narrator
Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo.