Durell: Promise me somethin. Promise me you'll be better than me.
Durell Jr.: OK. You promise me somethin. Promise me you won't let mom take me to Atlanta.

I'm not infectin the community. I got papers to prove Im not infected...


The white Jesus keeps starin at me!


I'm not gonna lose my son!


Pastor Arthur Mitchell: [to the congregation] You have to ask yourself: Would a man rob God?

Rickey: What kinda name is LeeJohn anyway?
LeeJohn: My mom had two boyfriends, Lee and John. She didn't know who my daddy was, so she named me LeeJohn.
Rickey: [after a pause] I dunno if I would have shared that.

Mordecai: Do you want to know my name?
LeeJohn: I don't just want to know your name, I want you to whisper it in my ear.
Mordecai: MORDECAI!

They using big words now. Sanctuary, congested... that means umm, ghetto.


Pastor Arthur Mitchell: Actually, your honor, we have a lot of witnesses here that are willing to testify to a lot of things... like embezzlement.
Tianna: Misappropriation of funds.
Sister Doris: Falsifying documents.
Rickey: Not to mention, wearing an easter suit with a halloween shirt and tie set!

Judge B. Bennet Galloway: Mr. Jackson, six months ago you were caught shoplifting at a Stop 'N Shop, with a box full of Ding Dongs and a six pack of Banana Strawberry Boone's Farm.
LeeJohn: Uh, your honor, it was Goober Grape.
Judge B. Bennet Galloway: When the arresting officer searched you, he found a twenty dollar bill in your pocket. Why didn't you just pay for it?
LeeJohn: Because this dude named Bo-Peep was on my ass about twenty dollars and I...

Sister Doris: Do you like birthday parties, Leonard... I mean, LeeJohn?
LeeJohn: I don't know. I never had one.
Sister Doris: You never had a birthday party?
LeeJohn: When they took me to my foster home, they lost my birth certificate. So, nobody never knew when my birthday was.
Sister Doris: Aww... I know when it is.
LeeJohn: You do? When?
Sister Doris: Today!

Durell: Um, excuse me?
Rickey: Excuse you? Don't nobody even know you!

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First Sunday Quotes

Deacon: These miscreants...
Rickey: Miscreants? We are African-Americans!

I'm not infectin the community. I got papers to prove Im not infected...