I just went from six to midnight.

Matthew

I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.

Surfing Instructor

Come on out. Oh, the weather outside is weather...

Surfing Instructor

God put our mouths on our head for a reason. No!

Darald

Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Kemo

Brian: You don't need to put your P in a V right now.
Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone's T's.

When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail.

Surfing Instructor

Let me just say that if God was a city planner he would not put a playground next to a sewage system!

Darald

Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.

Peter Bretter

Surfing Instructor: I once saw him beat a guy up with a starfish!
Peter Bretter: That's ridiculous.
Surfing Instructor: That guy was me.

You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.

Darald

Surfing Instructor: There's only one cure for pain like that.
Peter Bretter: What?
Surfing Instructor: Weed. Ya got any?
Peter Bretter: No.
Surfing Instructor: Well then let's just go surfing!

FREE Movie Newsletter

Forgetting Sarah Marshall Quotes

Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.

Peter Bretter

Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Kemo