Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.

Peter Bretter

When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail.

Surfing Instructor

Brian: You don't need to put your P in a V right now.
Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone's T's.

Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Kemo

[very unenthusiastically, while having sex with Peter] Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. I just came. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Model

Surfing Instructor: I once saw him beat a guy up with a starfish!
Peter Bretter: That's ridiculous.
Surfing Instructor: That guy was me.

Peter Bretter: I wanna stand up before I leave.
Surfing Instructor: I don't think you're ready, man.
Peter Bretter: I'm ready to ride fucking giants, Kunu.
Surfing Instructor: I think you're ready.

I just went from six to midnight.

Matthew

Peter Bretter: Maybe this is a sign from God that I should forget her.
Darald: Maybe this is a sign that you should be WITH her. I love her show. When they mix the sexuality and the violence, I like it.

Come on out. Oh, the weather outside is weather...

Surfing Instructor

Sarah Marshall: Remember how we thought the killer masturbated before commiting his crimes?
Detective Hunter Rush: Yes?
Sarah Marshall: Take a look...
Detective Hunter Rush: ...Looks like where he's going he'll need to know how to masturbate.

Surfing Instructor: There's only one cure for pain like that.
Peter Bretter: What?
Surfing Instructor: Weed. Ya got any?
Peter Bretter: No.
Surfing Instructor: Well then let's just go surfing!

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall Quotes

Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.

Peter Bretter

Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Kemo