Michel: Jackass.
Hancock: [leans in close to Michel] Call me a jackass one more time.
Michel: Jackass.
Hancock: [grabs Michel and launches him into the sky; turns to chubby kid] You got a problem Thickness?
[chubby kid shakes his head; turns to kid with glasses]
Hancock: How about you Goggles?

Rail Crossing Crowd #2: Your breath smells like alcohol!
Hancock: That's cause I've been drinking bitch!

Pissed Off Fat Guy: You know? Somebody should sue you!
Hancock: You know what? You should sue McDonalds, cuz they fucked you up!

I gotta wonder what a bastard I have been. That nobody was there to claim me. I mean I am not the most charming guy on the world so I've been told... but... nobody?

[people in the neighborhood are looking at Hancock] What the hell are you pricks staring at?

[to Asian gangsters] Your head is going up his ass, his head is going up his ass, and you get the short end of the straw, cause your head is going up my ass!

Mary Embrey: Whatever we are, we're built in twos. We're drawn together. No matter how far I run, he's always there! He finds me. It's physics.
Ray Embrey: Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying you two are fated to be together?
Mary Embrey: I've lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I learned - fate doesn't decide everything. People get to choose.

Hancock: Who are we?
Mary Embrey: Gods, angels...Different cultures call us by different names. Now all of a sudden it's superhero.
Hancock: Are there more of us?
Mary Embrey: There were. They all died. It's just the two of us.

Ray Embrey: My basic diagnosis of your fundamental problem is...do you want to hear it?
Hancock: No.
Ray Embrey: You're an asshole. I know. I call it like I see it, though. It's not a crime to be an asshole, but it's very counter-productive. Not a crime, but you are an asshole, don't you think?
Hancock: Be careful.

Boy at Bus Stop: [taps a sleeping Hancock] Hancock!
[hits him to wake up]
Boy at Bus Stop: Hancock!
Hancock: What, boy?
Boy at Bus Stop: [points to TV screens] Bad guys.
Hancock: What, you want a cookie? Get the hell out my face.
Boy at Bus Stop: Jackass.
Hancock: What?
Boy at Bus Stop: You heard me.

People should love you. They really should, okay? And I want to deliver that for you. It's the least that I can do. You're a superhero. Kids should be running up to you, asking for your autograph, people should be cheering you on the streets...

Ray Embrey

Ray Embrey: People don't like you, Hancock.
Hancock: Do I look like I care what people think?

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Hancock Quotes

[to Asian gangsters] Your head is going up his ass, his head is going up his ass, and you get the short end of the straw, cause your head is going up my ass!

Hancock

Rail Crossing Crowd #2: Your breath smells like alcohol!
Hancock: That's cause I've been drinking bitch!