Popular Happy Gilmore Quotes
[giving an interview] Thank you, Doug. You know, I saw Doug playing yesterday. And I've got to tell you, this guy spends more time on the sand than David Hasselhoff.Shooter McGavin
You're gonna die, clown.
Announcer: We haven't seen Happy Gilmore play this badly since his first day on tour. He and Bob Barker are now dead last.
Bob Barker: I can't believe you're a professional golfer. I think you should be working at the snack bar.
Happy Gilmore: You better relax, Bob.
Bob Barker: There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf.
Happy Gilmore: All right, let's go.
Happy Gilmore: You like THAT old man? You want a piece of ME?
Bob Barker: I don't want a PIECE of you, I want the whole THING!
Happy Gilmore: I'd like to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on "Let's Make A Deal."
Bob Barker: It's "The Price Is Right," Happy.
Happy Gilmore: Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Bob Barker: It happens. Let's play some golf.
Happy Gilmore: Okay.
Virginia: Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! You want to beat him? Beat him on the course.
Happy Gilmore: That's right, I'm gonna beat your ass on the course!
Shooter McGavin: Yeah, right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard.
Lee Trevino: Grizzly Adams *did* have a beard.
You will not make this putt... jackass!Donald
You're gonna need a blanket and suntan lotion, cause you're never gonna get off that beach, just like the way you never got into the NHL... you jackass!Donald
Virginia: I thought we were just going to be friends.
Happy Gilmore: What? Friends don't listen to Endless Love in the dark.
Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.Shooter McGavin
[to Shooter] Did that go in? I wasn't watching, did it go in? I didn't see it, could you tell me if it went in?
Virginia: What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Happy Gilmore: I didn't *break* it, I was merely testing its durability, and I *placed* it in the woods cause it's made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.