Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: What's that?
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so.

• Permalink: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by f...
• Added: September 27, 2006

Virginia: What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Happy Gilmore: I didn't *break* it, I was merely testing its durability, and I *placed* it in the woods cause it's made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.

• Permalink: What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the wo...
• Added: September 27, 2006

Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.

Shooter McGavin

• Permalink: Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.
• Added: September 27, 2006