Favorite Hot Tub Time Machine Quotes
Jacob: "For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones."
Lou: "You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones."
"I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina."Lou [on phone to an escort service]
Lou [shouting from a rooftop to the '80s teenagers below]: "Hey, John Lennon gets shot!...
[To himself:] Wait, did that happen yet?"
Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."
"All right, I write Stargate fan fiction, so I think I'm know what I'm talkin' about right now."Jacob
Jacob [scoping out the ski resort]: " I'm gonna make a prediction right now: One of us is gonna start writing a novel, and then we all get snowed in, and then Lou's gonna axe-murder all of us."
"I seriously almost passed out, you're such a dork."Lou
Jacob [discussing "the butterfly effect"]: "... like, you step on a bug, and the f***in' Internet's never invented."
Lou: "Oh, then you have to talk to girls with your mouth."
"I didn't f***in' try and kill myself! If I wanted to kill myself, I'd f***in' kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. Shotgun to the dick."Lou
Jacob: This is scientifically possible!
Nick: Tell us how it's scientifically possible, Professor Hawking.
Jacob: I will, 'cause I write Stargate fan fiction; this is my bread and butter, man!
Nick: Oh my God, I seriously almost passed out you're such a dork.
Lou: "Who took my f***in' shoe?!"
Jacob: "Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, which -- I don't even know how that could f***in' happen."
Jacob: "Nobody f***s my mother in the past!"
Kelly: "I feel pregnant."
Lou: "You're welcome."